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On March 19th my twins will be turning 3 years old. Rowan will celebrate on Earth and Finn will be celebrating in heaven.

I’m not sure how it has been three years already. My heart is constantly pulled in two opposite directions and the coexistence of grief alongside joy can be exhausting at times. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of Finn and wonder what it would be like to have all three of my boys under the same roof together. 

Every year that passes, is a reminder of how important this organization is. Before I lost Finn, I didn’t even know this organization existed. The thought that I might someday lose one of my babies never crossed my mind. When we made it to 37 weeks without complications, I felt confident that my boys would be born healthy. 

The day I lost Finn, my labor and deliver nurse knew what I needed. She mentioned Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep almost as soon as I was admitted to the hospital. At the time I was in a fog and overwhelmed. I didn’t even know if I wanted photographs taken. It all seemed so morbid and weird to me. But thankfully, my nurse was trained and experienced. She called the NILMDTS photographer and had her there waiting for me after my C-section. She came and took the most precious pictures of my twins, all three of my boys together, and the only complete family photographs that I will ever have.

These priceless photographs are the only photos I will ever have of Finn. As my boys have grown older, these photos have been important in remembering their brother and have helped us have discussions about Finn. I am forever grateful for my nurse, my NILMDTS photographer and the support this organization have given us. 

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep provides the gift of remembrance portraits to parents experiencing the death of a baby.  A gift every grieving parent needs to receive. I hope that you will consider donating to this organization in honor of all of the babies gone too soon.