Help us raise money

This year my Mom & I will be Attending the, Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (NILMDTS) Remembrance Walk September 10th. This is a way to honor both of my babies, Jayden & Harper. While also helping give back to one of my favorite organizations. If you’d consider, Donations go directly to funding cost-free photography services captured by (volunteer) professional photographers, for the families whose babies are born still or are facing a life-limiting diagnosis. The photographs we have from NILMDTS, are among our very few, most cherished possessions. Your support is greatly appreciated! Thank You! 

My husband Kyle and I found out we were pregnant with our first child, a baby boy, Mother's Day, May of 2020. This pregnancy was very hard. I was sick for all 9 months & 2 times ended up in the hospital ER for unexplainable pain in my upper abdomen. After a MRI, x-rays, and an ultrasound of my kidneys it showed nothing wrong that they could find. In December at 37 weeks on my way to Maternal Fetal Medicine for an routine ultrasound, my water broke in the car. I was by myself because of covid protocol, my husband was not allowed to any of my appointments. He was at work so I called him to meet me at the hospital. I made it up to labor and delivery but it all went so fast everything seemed like a blur. They went to hook me up to the monitors to find the baby’s heartbeat. Nothing but silence everywhere she looked. The nurse grabbed the ultrasound machine and a doctor to check for any movement. That was when I was told all alone "I'm sorry there is no heartbeat".   No reception frantically calling my husband and parents to come to the hospital. One of the nurses finally got ahold of my mom but Kyle didn’t get the news until arriving to the hospital and seeing me devastated. We all are. I was given the option to induce now or let me go home and come back the next day. I decided at the time to be induced same day.  Jayden John Paul Smith was stillborn on 12/22/2020 at 11:10PM. Such a handsome boy. We found out after they sent in the placenta and his body for autopsy that he passed from a placenta abruption but he himself, perfectly healthy no genetic concerns. 
Fast forward to August 2021 my husband and I found out that we were pregnant with our second child. This time, it's a girl. My pregnancy seemed like a breeze compared to my first born. With my history with having a stillborn I was a nervous wreck but every appointment she would pass her tests and measurements and never had any concerns. On May 2nd was the first time that she did not pass the BBP test, I was sent to Labor and Delivery to be monitored for baby’s movements. 6 hours into monitoring the DR. decided it would be best for me to stay overnight at the hospital on monitors and then to redo the BBP test ultrasound in the morning to see if she would pass it or I was going to be induced. That morning she passed her test and the Dr discharged me home. 10 days later at 3 am my water broke. Fortunately, this time my husband was able to drive me to the hospital and help me up to labor and delivery. I kept having flash backs from my first baby but was hopeful that our rainbow baby was just fine. The nurse put monitors on and she kept moving them all around as my heart shattered. She told me she was going to have to get the ultrasound machine. I already was hopping that my worst fears weren't true. This can’t happen twice! At 35 weeks and 6 days now with our rainbow baby we are told again " I'm sorry there is no heartbeat". I was numb and in shock but proceeded to be induced. Harper Louise Smith was born at 11:30 AM on 5/12/2022. During labor the DR’s were able to determine and she had passed from a nuchal cord with a knot that was wrapped around her arm, body, and neck 4 times. She was beautifully perfect in every way possible, nothing genetically wrong either.

We are completely devastated to have experienced 2 full-term still births. All we can do is take it one day at a time & pray for a healthy smooth baby pregnancy next double rainbow because we plan to try again 🙏🏼🌈🌈