Help Mary raise money

The Herren Project is a national organization based in Rhode Island that provides various prevention, recovery and support services to individuals with drug and alcohol addiction and their families. I support the Herren Project because they recognize the importance of support services for the family members of those struggling with addiction. The impact on family members can be devastating emotionally, socially, physically, and financially. Alcoholism has deeply impacted my family for generations. 

On December 28, 2019, my sister's husband died after many years of struggling with alcoholism. He was only 55. At some point in the hours following his death, my sister Nora died by suicide. To some extent she thought his death was her fault. The shame and secrecy that surround addiction kept my sister from ever really talking about her struggles as the spouse of an alcoholic. His shame became her shame. She would usually say, “I’m fine, everything's okay”. I truly and deeply believe that if my sister had talked about what she was going through with others that were going through the same experience, she would not have felt alone or powerless over her situation and she could have coped better during her marriage. Instead, she silently suffered leading to a major depression that ultimately took her life, leaving those who loved her without a mother, daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, niece and friend. 

“The problem of alcoholism though defined in context of an individual affects the family as a whole. When one member of the family abuses alcohol, it causes disruption and disharmony within the family and thus, every member suffers. The impact of alcoholism on the family is so marked that it leads to the absolute breakdown of family as an entity. The family members of alcoholics often report various negative emotional states ranging from guilt, shame, anger, fear, grief, and isolation. Among all members, the wives of alcoholics are most adversely affected. The wives of alcoholics undergo intense trauma and stress in their domestic environment which brings about major psychological problems in them. The high levels of anxiety, depression, neuroticism, and poor self-esteem are a few in the slope.” Sharma N. et al, Living with an alcoholic partner: Problems faced and coping strategies used by wives of alcoholic clients. Industrial Psychiatry Journal. 2016 Jan-Jun;25(1):65-71. This is just one of many studies done on the impact of alcoholism on the family. 

I'm running with Team Herren in my sister Nora's memory. My heart breaks every day knowing that she did not have to suffer in silence because organizations like Herren Project exist to help those who are ready to ask for help. I know that if she were here today, she would encourage anyone struggling with addiction AND their loved ones to TALK ABOUT IT. Don't let shame win. You are far from alone and you do not have to suffer in silence. 

In memory of my beautiful sister Nora.