#LightUpMBC Corpus Christi Fun Run

Contact Sarah at sarahssouljasmbc@gmail.com prior to registering!

#LightUpMBC is an annual global landmark campaign, that shines a light on the importance of awareness and funding for MBC.

Our virtual broadcast #LightUpMBC Live will take place on October 13, 2022 at 9PM ET and feature inspiring stories told by MBC patients, illuminated landmarks and musical guests. The show will be live streamed through LiveOne and viewable on all METAvivor channels including Facebook Live and YouTube @METAvivor and at www.METAvivor.org/LightUpMBC

• Approximately 30% of early stage breast cancer survivors will have a recurrence as metastatic disease
• Metastases can occur as early as several months to 25+ years after treatment
• 685,000 people a year die from metastatic breast cancer globally
• Only 22% of U.S. MBC patients live longer than 5 years, and only 11% of live longer than 10 years
• There is NO CURE for MBC

Sarah Lopez Jackson

Amanda Medina

I have kept this blog and currently updated it as time goes on

For those who have been following my journey. My official day of diagnosis was July 17, 2018. This date will always be burned like a stamp into my brain. This is the day I was told by SCIENCE that I had breast cancer. But for those that don't know how it all started... let me share. I Was 34 years young(now 37)and I’m from the friendliest Cotton pickin town of Taft, Texas. I WAS a registered and certified Dental Assistant of over 14 years. I am a mother to my handsome 18 year old son named Samuel Oran Cruz. I am not married but have a wonderful supportive boyfriend of 10 years and counting.

My journey started by having pain from my right lower rib area to my left chest/ boob area late June 2018. They were small tight pains (like a zap) that came and went randomly throughout the day regardless of what I was doing. They were most significant while at work as I was assisting my boss (Dentist). I would get a zap pain. A pain that was enough to catch my attention. It was a sensation that was NOT normal .....but enough for me to be concerned and say “O shit what is that”. At first I didn’t think much of it. Thought at first it was possibly heartburn but then the dramatic side of me was like “oh shit I’m having a heart attack!”

I gave it a week hoping it would go away but everyday they continued. One night about 1 week into it, I started to get a pain at night that got really bad on my right rib side. It hurt to the point that I was unable to touch my ribs. Felt as if they were bruised. The pains were similar to those of having menstrual cramps that ran into my back....but curling up in a ball did not relieve the pain. I finally convinced myself to go see the doctor but every-time I was thinking of going I had no symptoms. So like most people I ignored it. I had insurance but I worked and it seemed as if I never had time to go. It wasn’t until one (Friday) in which I worked half a day that I finally had the pain and said to myself .... I better go. I convinced myself to check in at TLC down the street of where I worked and where I usually went because I did not have a primary doctor. I called Joel my boyfriend and told him that I was going to get checked out and for him to please meet me there. I had the norm .....blood work. It showed I was dehydrated and they hooked me up to IV lines. The Blood work also showed I was low on potassium and results turned out that the pain in my rib side was stool💩 backed up. 🙈 Me not 100% okay with the results asked for more testing and had a CT Scan of my lower abdomen w/contrast(dye)

That’s when the Doctor @ TLC came out and revealed it was my Liver. He calmly placed his hand over my shoulder and said I’m sorry. No explanation what so ever. Just that I needed to follow up with my doctor or go to the TLC in callallen where I could get an MRI. Me not grasping what was wrong with my liver ...was like “Why is he so sorry”🤷🏽‍♀️

I wasted no time and immediately followed up w/ the TLC in Calallen as instructed to have an MRI. It was there where I spoke to a Nurse Practioner. I have never met someone so genuine like her. If I recall correctly she was maybe 2-3 years older than me or within my age. She reviewed the CT scan and informed me that it looked like I had cancer showing up in my liver. That explained why my stool was backed up because my liver wasn’t functioning normally. She did an amazing job. She reviewed my health history and took time with me which seems rare these days. We discussed my entire health history. I shared with her that since I was 18, I have always had a lump(benign)on my left breast and had been going for mammograms and Pap smears to keep an eye on it. I usually went annually in June due to insurance. I told her everything with my health history because I noticed I had a hickey like structure above my left breast from the contrast injected in me from the CT scan. No one till this day can explain that but to me but I think it was a sign from god(a blessing in disguise) to reveal to the nurse my medical history of my lump. The nurse practioner was my guardian angel. She immediately wasted no time and booked me for several tests with radiology associates to rule out breast cancer. She scheduled me the normal mammogram. Ultra sound of breast. Vaginal ultrasound. CT scan. MRI. And what seemed like endless tests.

I was not happy cause of the cost and questioned if I really needed all that. So me being me asked a close friend Olivia in radiology if all these expensive tests were necessary? She confirmed all these tests were needed. So somehow someway I came up with the money and cooperated. For the next 2 weeks I had xrays completed at radiology associates. On the day of the mammogram The lady(radiologist) said “Miss Medina u have a new lump.... have you always had this lump. So I feel the area she’s feeling and was in shock. How did I not feel this? But then again I have dense boobs that I prob would of never have thought it was a lump. I proceeded with the mammogram and was told that if it came out suspicious they would move me over into another room for a biopsy. Didn’t take long, minutes after the mammogram I was taken into another room. It was then that I had a feeling it was cancer but I held onto Faith.

They recommended a biopsy because it looked cancerous. They performed a biopsy. Hurt like hell. I didn’t even put my braw back on and left there not caring what anyone thought. I had to wait 2 days for the results.

I was at wrk when I got the call from the radiologist stating my biopsy came back and that it tested positive for breast cancer and the old spot that I’ve been watching/always had was still nothing. I remember standing at the door way of my dental op .... It was a shock but I did not cry. I mean .... so many women get diagnosed with breast cancer, and they overcome it, right? I went to the breakroom and sat down and told my coworker Nicole, She cried. Even then I didn’t cry. My mindset was okay. I had the scare before when I was 18. I shared with my remaining coworkers and boss and I finished the day out. I honestly don’t even know how I broke the news to my boyfriend. I guess I still hadn’t absorbed it. We followed up with the nurse practioner. It was there where she officially told me the results. All I remember was sitting in the chair and telling her okay so what now ....what do we do and how can I get the ball going. She was in disbelief by my response. Little did I know what she knew. The nurse practioner was awesome and asked me where did I want to go. I told her MDAnderson. She booked me immediately with MD Anderson out of Houston Texas. I mean MDAnderson is one of the best or so I’ve heard and I was lucky that it was in my backyard. Having ins coverage made the whole cancer a smooth one. It felt like forever. The longest 2 weeks of my life before MDAnderson could schedule me. I remember being so anxious to get seen.

In between all this New Diagnosis I was caught between my Boss treating me differently. I had dedicated myself to my Job of 14 years and they were already thinking of replacing me. I didn’t even know what stage cancer I was and was already feeling the judgement of having cancer. I kept the diagnosis quiet with only my best friend and family knew until I was ready to share in which I did on Facebook. I just remember getting a James Avery pink ball breast cancer charm from my older brother. A charm i never in a million years thought I would add to my bracelet.

When we think of breast cancer we think “PINK” ribbon. It wasn’t until August when I arrived at MDAnderson that I stayed for one whole week and did numerous testing. A lot of the same scans and testing I had back home in Corpus. I had a team assigned to me and had a treatment plan. This plan consisted of me having A chemo port placed back home. This was because I had put my 2 weeks in at work and accepted a job I had waited for with the VA. An application I had been working on for the past year. It came during a crazy time. Me getting diagnosed with cancer. It was the hardest decision of my life. To leave a job of 14 years and take on a New but secure job with the government. I was scared of change especially at that time because I was just given a diagnosis of breast cancer. after feeling how my boss was already making me feel like I was dying I felt it was best to leave. I was scared he wasn’t going to support my small breast cancer journey unlike My friends who were already employed at the VA had my back. They offered their vacation days to me to get me through my fight. My insurnace was going to end August and it was important to get it done before because My insurnace with the VA wouldn’t kick in for awhile. This is the part where my boss actually stepped in and did the unexpected and extended my health Insurnace for all the month of September until I qualified for Insurnace through the VA. MDAnderson determined I was going to have chemotherapy of the drugs called FAC. They recommended I find an oncologist back home(Dr. Salloum) and have my chemo therapy there and then return for follow ups/scans after every two cycles. I never really knew how many chemo therapy’s I was gna have. It was always a go as plan. It was then that I learned I was possibly Stage 4. Even at that time I didn’t quite understand the different stages and the meaning. To me ....Cancer was cancer.

Plus MD Anderson explained to me to not get caught up in stages. It was all on what kind of cancer and if there was medicine out there for it.

This is the part I didn’t share with many but a few because not too many people understood what stage 4 was. And then the questions come and comments come like “Your gna be okay right?” Or “You caught it early” and I myself didn’t have the answers, nor liked the awkwardness of the conversation. I promised myself that I would surround myself with only positive vibes and I immediately learned how so many people did not understand cancer and their comments made me want to slap them🙈 which I learned to handle now but at the time I did not know how to.

Stage 4 =Metastatic breast cancer. Metastatic breast cancer is when the cancer has spread to another major organ such as the brain, liver, lungs, or bones. In my case the cancer has spread to my LIVER only. No lymph nodes! So no I don’t have breast cancer and liver cancer! I have Metastatic breast cancer. To be exact I have infiltrating ductal carcinoma. Er+ PR- Her2Fish -. Meaning I dnt carry the gene. I was just one of the lucky ones to get it. My cancer feeds off estrogen. My ribbon isn’t PINK. It’s more like a rainbow ribbon made up of pink, teal, and green. Green represents the triumph of spring over winter, life over death; teal symbolizes healing and spirituality; and a thin pink-ribbon overlay signifies metastatic cancer that originated in the breast.

It’s a ribbon that many do not know of nor understand. They forget or ignore stage 4 breast cancer and focus on the pink ribbon breast cancer... the curable kind. The one with the happy ending. Everyone understands the PINK ribbon. So I decided and stuck to the PINK ribbon to simplify my life with no negative comments or set backs.

With that being said. That means there’s no cure! Only Treatment to prolong my life. It’s a fight for Life. I will take medication and chemo until it no longer works for me and move on to the next medication until there is no more or I run out of options 😔 Ain’t that some shit! There’s no saying “I beat cancer!” There’s no ringing that damn bell at the chemo place for me. And if you google the statistics of metastatic Breast Cancer it’s 2-5 years. They give you a time stamp of how long you have to live. When we envision cancer we immediately think of losing hair and being bald. My hair meant everything to me. I was devastated. Theopa a friend of mine mentioned “Cold capping”. She connected me with another young female friend of hers who was battling breast cancer and had used cold capping to save her hair. I quickly reached out to her and contacted “warrior caps”. It was a small company out of Dallas run by a lady that had been through breast cancer and done the cold calling herself. At this time (September) I was still unsure what stage I was cause MDAnderson was not sure if I was truly stage 4 or not. MDAnderson didn’t want to do a biopsy on my liver for fear that if it was truly cancer it would spread faster. There was that chance it was just a fatty liver but they would determine it by comparing my scans. If the chemo reduced the spots in my liver then the cancer had spread to my liver and I was stage 4 but if there was no change then maybe it was just a fatty liver. September was my first chemo.

Dr. Emile Salloum advised me that cold capping wouldn’t work. That it was just hair and it would grow back. Cold capping was expensive and insurnace wouldn’t pay. This was probably the first time where I had advocated for myself and my response was... I’m doing cold capping no matter the cost.

I had my first chemo September, this was also the start of my new job at the VA. I remember my Joel(my cold capper) walking into my chemo treatments with my big rolling ice chest and placing the cold cap on my head. It was a lot of work. We had to buy dry ice. Time it properly. It was an unpleasant experience because it was soo cold. Imagine putting an ice pack on your head strapped down🙈 My Joel supported me and did one hell of a job.

I feared losing my hair and I did the funky cap stuff and that only saved my hair for about a month longer. Now I know why. I didn’t have a fighting chance cause I was on some of the toughest chemo drugs. It’s a choice I do not regret. Cause I am a fighter. I had to try it even if it didn’t wrk to have that piece of mind that I tried it. My Oncologist in Corpus Christi warned me that it wouldn’t work but again I did what I felt was best for me even if In the end he was right the whole time. Around this time, I think is where I quit my brand new lifetime opportunity of having a dental job with the VA.

Requesting days off to go to my doctor

Appointments and chemo was challenging and didn’t go as planned. Even though I went to work after having chemo I literally felt hopeless and quit not knowing what was to come. I needed to

Focus on my health and literally didn’t give a shit about working. During this time my old boss of 14 years contacted me to see how I was doing and He found out I wasn’t working. That I had quit. He offered me my job back. I guess it took me leaving for him to realize what kind of employee I was. I was scared to accept it because he didn’t handle my diagnosis good at the beginning so how was he going to be during. Believe it or not this was the time where he shocked me. I honestly think it was my coworkers that had a lot of the pep talk him that made him be there 100%.

I would have Chemo and next day be at work. I still worked and was me. The hard dedicated employee I had always been.

It wasn’t until I lost my hair in late October shortly after my 1st benefit that I cried. My first benefit was a blur. I remember being so upset with my family because I felt I didn’t need the benefit. I had a job and insurance.... I didn’t need Help!! Little did I know. There were So many people supporting me but all I remember was being embarrassed cause my hair was shedding and falling out. I couldn’t enjoy outside cause the heat made my scalp itch and my skin sting. I could deal with the diagnosis of cancer . I could deal with chemo. But losing my hair was traumatizing. I woke up and saw a NEW me. It took life away from me. It changed my appearance of who I saw in the mirror everyday. What seemed so simple to go to the grocery store was not a simple task-for me. I clearly remember the day. I was itching and my hair was all matted. It was dry as ever. My mom somehow showed up to my house around 8ish unexpectantly. It was like her mother instinct kicked in and she knew I needed her. She sat there on my bedroom floor trying to help me untangle my hair. I remember holding back my tears and having so much sadness. Here I was 34 and my mom was still grooming my hair. Something you think you would never go through because your all grown up. After about 30 min I finally said I had enough. I was tired of waking up every morning seeing my hair on my pillowcase. I was tired of brushing it as gently as possible... yet wads of hair was coming out. And I told my mom and joel to shave my head. My mom tried so hard to convince me she could untangle my hair. My boyfriend captured that moment in a picture and every time I look at it... it brings back the feelings and emotions of that very day. It was a Sunday because I remember calling my coworker Nicole telling her to please tell everyone at the office I was going in bald or with my free chemo cap I had picked up at MDAnderson😔. Neither my mom nor boyfriend wanted to shave my hair that night. It was the night I lost a piece of me. I went from having hair to NO hair. My friend Jerri was my little savior to a new tradition. She signed me up for Making strides against breast cancer. She was already of part of this due to another friend. I had mixed emotions because I had just lost all my hair and wasn’t sure if I was gna be okay to walk since I had just started chemo. I was embarrassed to be seen in a public event with no hair. But I’m so very thankful she signed me up. So many friends, family and coworkers showed up to show support. We all had shirts made and it is now a tradition I look forward to. Some of my best memories are from these events. She specifically made me a photo album where I keep my pictures in and the first of my pictures are from the breast cancer walk. It’s become a MUST tradition. How was I so lucky to get a cancer in which a whole month is dedicated to it. So many other kind of cancers yet I got the one that has awareness.

All came so real for me and I fell into a little depression around Xmas time☹️ This is when I got the phone call from MDAnderson while at my work Christmas party at Takeniwa that I was Stage 4. The dental office I worked for closed for 2 weeks for Christmas. Working kept my mind off of what was happening. I pushed family and friends away. But in my family that’s not allowed! We are all very close and like they say..... when I got diagnosed with cancer ... so did they. They came to the rescue and my family and friends pulled me out of it. Everyday someone was at my house. It was like they had a plan and I wanted to lock my house door and be left alone but somehow they found their way in lol. They often checked in on me and made sure to let me know I wasn’t alone. My neighbor was amazing and always brought over meals. I eventually decided to look into wigs. I had called the American Breast Cancer Society because I heard they help with wigs but that was a complete joke. Eventually I learned that MdAnderson had a wig shop. I attempted 3-4 times walking into the wig shop but only to find myself walking out empty handed and in tears. I just wasn’t ready. The 4th time that I finally built the courage to go in....I finally walked out with “Magda”( my free ugly wig). We named her Magda because She was hideous and I only wore her with a cap. She was free and she gave me some sort of start of hope and beauty. My friendship with my best friend was falling apart because of cancer. Little did I know she was hurting and was having a hard time knowing that she could

Lose me. I had to sit with my family and let them know that as much as they all wanted to be there for me, there were some things that I preferred a particular someone because they were who I needed. Not that I didn’t want them, but in order for me to move foward that’s what was working for me. For example: I needed joel to be the one to go with me to chemo treatments because he was my cold capper and he was soo positive and life kept going. I couldn’t have my big sister cause she was always emotional 🙈January my my BiG sister and BFF helped me go to Corpus and search for a new better realistic wig. We tried two different wig shops and it was my sister who found my new wig “bay”. Bay looks so damn real that she has become my ultimate favorite wig. She brought me... the me before cancer .....back to life. My momma nurtured me like any mother would. My wig looks almost so real and like the the old me. It was then that I pulled myself together and told myself it was time to get my life back and I was so upset at myself for allowing cancer to take 3 months (October, November &December)of my life. Soooooo it was then everything I just told y’all above ..I told myself did not apply to me!!!

Google stats were not gna define me.

If my chemo place had a bell for those who could ring it. I was gna take Joel’s &Orans tools and undo that Mother trucker! 😭😂🤣 Being bald was the new me and learning to wear a wig was my new everyday. Everyday I woke up I was beating cancer. I was my own cure and GOD was my ultimate judge. I surrendered to him without fear or hesitation and I spoke to him and told him if it was my time then I would not question him. I was ready. Yes, I would leave behind my son but I have an amazing family that he would be just fine in life if god said it was my time. Faith, family, Joel, oran, my job, and my quote “let your faith be bigger than your fear” is what I held onto and is what got me through. My biggest fear was losing my hair not death. And well since I lost my hair everything from that point was a piece of cake 🍰 nothing at that point could break me or be worse.

Came so simple for me. I even shocked myself. But losing my dad helped me cope with my response. Having my wig gave me that since of control... what cancer took from me it let me have it back. It was my choice. It was my uplift in my journey. Did I want to feel like Mandy, Bay, or Magda? Joel, I would say was a lucky man. He got 3 women in one😭🤣😂

Having no hair came with a lot of tears fun and change. My family was protective of me when we went out. Brothers knew we could dance but do not spin me nor touch my hair😭😂 Sisters kept a close eye on me since I was learning how to wear the damn thing. Mom has been my #1 supporter. My joel loves me with or without hair. My Oran could care less. What a journey this has been. My coworkers were awesome and made me feel so comfortable in my skin that I didnt wear my wig but only my chemo cap to wrk. They got to laugh with me when I lost my lashes and brows and had to learn how to draw them things in. My boss came a long way and learned to support me being out of wrk to be able to fight this fight. So many contributed through my benefits, prayers, sharing posts and etc. I’m part of a Metastatic breast cancer group and the ladies on there are like doctors. They have either been there done that and give so much support and advise. The love is amazing. I still have a lot I’m learning in all this. Yes it may be an incurable disease but so is diabetes so to me that’s how I view it. Some say I may be naive or in denial. But the one thing is for sure I’m still me. I’m a fighter and a believer in my faith. I’m met so many others who have stage 1,2,3 that are so mad at god and I hurt because never not once in all this have I ever been mad at god. I was only mad at god when he took my dad. But now I see how God had a plan for me this whole time.

And when u truly think of it ... being full of shit is what saved my life. So I’ll be damned if I dnt live my life to the fullest. I could walk out my door and die in a car accident tomorrow ... so I will not stress over this cancer even though I’m so over it!

Which brings me to the present. I had 10 rounds of FAC chemo through my chemo port. I had all treatments done in Corpus Christi at the Coastal Bend cancer center. All my orders came from MDAnderson. The tumors in my breast are almost non detectable and the tumors in my liver are decreasing in size. On my last 2 chemo rounds the tumors in my liver were not significantly decreasing with the chemo...so they felt comfortable placing me on a chemo pill called Ibrance and letrozole with 3 monthly injections to help control my white blood cell count. My 10th round of chemo was April 2019. 2 months later In June (a week after my sons bday) I got admitted into the emergency to find out the chemo drug adrymycin affected my heart and put me into congestive heart failure. This was Something I knew or was aware about as a side affect when I was told about adrymycin. But what choice did I have🤷🏽‍♀️. It was a Friday at work, I was the only assistant that day and we had an all morning procedure. I literally felt exhausted from walking from point A to point B. I came home and rested and found myself having a dry cough and it hurt my inner chest. My legs were getting swollen. Joel wanted me to go to the hospital but I didn’t want to. Then that Saturday I woke up and told him it was time. I felt horrible and it was getting worse. I checked in to Christus Spohn off Saratoga where I had the worse experience. The doctors could not determine if I had punomia or if it was related to my heart. Turned out I did not have puenomnja and I had congestive heart failure. fluid built up in my lungs and had to have Thorensentisis (draining of my lungs) multiple times. Hurt like hell but it was a major relief. I had to be transported to another hospital that was able to treat people with cancer and it Would allow my local oncologist to see me.

It was such a big step back in my journey.

I cried because I was in the hospital for 2 weeks fighting for my life... I came this far fighting cancer to die from my heart. My ejection fractions were a 37. I was told my heart would never fully recover.

Again I held onto Faith. I changed my eating diet and attended cardio rehab as instructed, Where i exercised under monitors that watched my heart every Monday’s Wed and Fridays.

Lord behold on my next follow up at MDAnderson I was told my heart ejection fractions were a 56. 56 is my Dads fav number. My heart was back to normal . I took that as a sign my dad was watching over me. I became a statistic that proved science wrong. It got even better, I was nominated to be 1 of the 10 Pink Divas for 2019 in Corpus Christi by my hair stylist Maria. Pink Divas is a group in Corpus Christi Texas of women who have or had breast cancer. They get to be spoiled by having their hair and makeup done for one day and they get to have a photoshoot consisting of a sexy, casual, and pink wig picture. At first I was excited but as I looked at their Facebook page I was sad, nervous and having second thoughts about participating because everyone that got nominated was a breast cancer survivor.... meaning they had beat cancer. They no longer had it and they all looked older. Seemed like I was the only one who was stage 4 with no cure and no end story and one of the youngest 😔

Maria encouraged me to still go and I somehow worked up the courage to go and it was there that I met some of what I call now my Pink Diva sisters. I got to meet another stage 4 person Stephanie Sasser who was a year younger than me. That day we laughed, cried, and shared each other’s journey. We all had a story of our own. I realized that these women lived the same fear as I did even though they had beat it. Pink Divas was educated on metastatic breast cancer. They incorporated our ribbon along with the pink ribbon for the Pink Diva ball they held for us. We were able to raise funds to help a local organization called “Breast Friends”. It was then that I realized I had a voice. It was a day I’ll never forget. Channel 6 news interviewed everyone. But of all the women’s story/journey that day I was picked to be aired by the news that night😳😳 in which I was not ready for

Because they captured me with and without my wig. It put me out there when I was not ready for the world to really know.

I hadn’t really showed anyone that part of me. That part of my journey helped me face another one of my biggest fears. My pride. Seemed like it was from there that my journey took a big turn for the best. I was chosen by a fishing company Danco Pliers out of Florida to go on a fishing guided trip for a day in support of breast cancer awareness. They usually selected a survivor of breast cancer and they take them on a free fishing guided trip and create a video to share in support of breast cancer during the month of October. I will never forget getting that call and hearing the criteria. Robb the fishing guide asked me if I was a survivor? My heart dropped. What is exactly a survivor? It was then that I spoke up and told him that I was still battling cancer and would always be fighting it so .... yess I was a survivor. They interviewed me to share my breast cancer journey and it was shared on their Instagram page. A big time social media platform. The ironic part is that before this whole cancer crap started I was getting my fish game on. I bought a nice concept reel along with everything I thought I needed to start fishing. Then it all came crashing down when I found out I had cancer. I told my family that when My hair came back, the first thing I was gna do was go fishing. Like wow. My wish came true but even better. I had the best time of my life out there. Craig was the Danco rep. I remember asking him of all the people he had met doing what he was doing, whose story stood out the most. To my surprise he said mine. I was a bit shocked because I didn’t see myself the way he saw me. He said all the people he met had beat it. My video was special. Unique and different than that of the other videos they had made in the past. Man did that make me smile. Because I’ve always been different. Craig went above and beyond and made connections and put me on the front page of the fishing magazine. Like whoa. I have that magazine and I’m so damn proud of it. In fact I was able to get all of the remaining left over ones and have them put away in my garage so when the day comes that I am no longer here …. Joel is to have them at my funeral burial to give out. Craig Made one of my wishes come true and didn’t even know it. He captured me with and without my wig and accepted me that day as just a girl wanting to fish. Another amazing thing Danco did was they donated $1000 to an organization of my choice that has helped me during my journey. At that time I didn’t have any help other than from my friends family and work. He said he was gna ask if they could donate directly to me since I was a first for them. And yeppp that’s exactly what happened🙌🏼 And it didn’t stop there. I Did a speech sharing my journey for Empowered Fem. I was able to for the first time help inspire and educate others using my story my journey. I met another stage 4 Portrait of hope metavivor. I sat there and said wow..... I hope to live to make it as one of the portrait of hope. I also did my first photoshoot paid for by Empowered Fem With another women group called Passionate working women ....

She captured some great pictures of me with my journey.

Soooo from what it’s looking like is that life has just begun for me. Pink is the new meee.

In October 2019 I had a second benefit. Every year I was $5000 in the hole due to my insurnace deductible. So I literally worked to stay alive. At this point I was so thankful my family didn’t listen to me and proceeded with making me benefits. I never knew how financially draining cancer was even with insurnace. My second benefit was held on October 13th on metastatic breast cancer day. This benefit was an enjoyable one. I was comfortable wearing a wig. I danced and accepted my new life. My life with the ten million pills were finally in line. I had finally gotten the sense of my new life of visits to MdAnderson every 3 months for scans to monitor my cancer.

The chemo drugs ibrance that I’m taking are known to fail after 6 months. Yet here I am going on 2 years. How could this be? I mean I’m never lucky! My scan reports have continued to show stable. Meaning the cancer isn’t growing. It’s just there. My hair is growing back but in a whole new texture. It’s poofy and curly🙈 I have my moments where I have what I call crash days. I can sleep for a whole day and not get out of bed because I am so drained/tired because my white blood counts are down. I have foot bone pain from the medication I am on. It hurts to just walk. I also cannot stand for a long period of time without suffering the entire night of pain. Just when I thought I finally had a bit of my life back ....

Like everyone else I lost my job of 14 years during covid-19 pandemic for a very sad sad reason that I will not speak of. Damn this was a New big turn in my life. I always joked and told everyone that I wasn’t going to die from cancer but I would die the day I no longer work doing what I loved (dental). Even at my worst I always went to work. I didn’t let cancer get the best of what I worked for my entire life. Since the 6th grade I knew I wanted to be in the dental field. This was not the time to lose my job and health insurnace. I needed my health insurnace to continue my fight to live and get continued help from MdAnderson.

Man did I cry and cry and cry.

I didn’t know how I was going to survive.

I worked soooo hard to secure a job. I did everything right. I had a good paying job, health insurnace, a retirement plan.

In a blink of an eye it was all taken from me.

I was 18 when I got pregnant. Went from living in the projects and off the government to going to college and graduating as a Dental Assistant and working my way up the ladder to only find myself back to where I started... living off the government. Ain’t that something. This was a critical year. My son was a senior! This was the year I waited my entire life for and I was jobless with no income, no Insurnace. God tested me again. It was at this point in my life where I had to let it go. I learned to put it aside my pride. Once again another stage 4 person told me to reach out to a program that could help me with continuing care at MDAnderson. I filed for unemployment(major decrease in income). I reached out to the American Breast Cancer society again and got nowhere. Zero help! I found myself applying for assistance just to make ends meet. My family was going through some trial and tribulations. We were falling apart. One of the resources I applied for was called Inheritance of Hope. Inheritance of Hopes mission is to inspire hope in young families facing the loss of a parent. The non profit organization was founded by Kristen and Deric Milligan following several years of coping with the challenges of raising three young children while battling Kristens terminal liver cancer diagnosis. Sadly Kristin lost her courageous fight with cancer in 2021, but her legacy lives on as inheritance of Hope uniquely serves families like her own. This particular non profit organization spoke to my heart because one of the things they offered was me writing letters to my loved ones. This was the hardest thing to do. It took me days to complete because I just didn’t know how to write a final letter... but I did. These letters will be given to them the day the good lords calls me home. They also make a pre recorded video in which I have yet to do. I just didn’t have it in me. It’s a video made specifically for them and it will be given to them. This was important to me because I lost my insurnace and I wasn’t sure what was gna come of it. In my head I thought this is how I’m gna lose my fight to cancer. Covid Pandemic! One of my first negative thoughts. My little family was struggling. We needed to connect with others going through the same. It was a scary time. To my surprise I was one of the few families selected but due to covid it became a virtual retreat. We were cheated out of a trip somewhere anywhere but home. We still participated because I was emotionally struggling and having a hard time keeping things together and It served its purpose and I gained some resources and we connected with others living the same lifestyle. My pride was finally tested again and this is where I can actually say I am no longer embarrassed. Just like everyone else I held onto faith. I have attended so many food drives just to make it or get ahead. I have Applied for food-stamps and received help for a short time. I’ve been blessed with Orans grandparents dropping off a meal box once a week. Little did I know god had bigger and better plans. Maybe his plan was to keep me home and enjoy my sons last year of school? Maybe I wouldn’t have made it working during covid?

Around this time, my sons best friend showed up on my doorstep with no where to go. He asked to move in and I didn’t have the heart to say no. He was working at Whataburger (same place where my son was working) and I would see him walk to work, rain or shine. In my heart I knew we couldn’t afford to take in another human but I of all people knew sometimes we just need that lift.. that help to get us where we’re going. I sometimes look back and tell my family I’m not sure if he needed us or we needed him. He has been the best BIG brother to my son. This kid has his head on straight and has determination and my son was feeding off of it.

I’m not quite sure what I’m suppose to do now. I pray on it every night for god to show me the way. I desperately want to go back to work but having stage 4 Cancer makes it so much more complicated and difficult. I have my good days and I have my bad days. The pain in my bones (from medication I take)are unbearable sometimes. But what I do know is that im still alive. I am currently NEAD. These are the words every metavivor prays to hear. No evidence of active disease. My health has never been better. I am on a program that has helped me continue care at MDAnderson and I’ve survived Covid. My only goal was to see my son graduate. I never in a million years would of thought I’d be where I am but this is my life. In all this I’m amazed at how I’m still very blessed I am. Guess it humbled me. I also got a random but very rewarding phone call one day. I was selected as a 2020 Leslie’s Week Honoree.

Leslie’s week is a non profit organization that gives a FREE family vacation for stage 4 metastatic breast cancer.

Felt like it was never going to happen after it got cancelled due to covid last year. I think all the pictures and posts pretty much sum up all the happiness it brought. Another Stage 4 2019 honoree nominated me in and I am so thankful I was one in 20 families selected for the 2020 year. Now I know what she meant when she said I needed Leslie’s Week . I believe At that time somehow we messaged back and forth and

I was facing some pretty hard times with losing my job, Insurnace, and family crisis. I accepted it not really knowing if this Vacation away from cancer would give me what I needed or was looking for. And to be quite honest I wasn’t even sure what it was I was looking.

This Non-Profit organization gave me my family back. My dad use to always say he was rich cause he had his family and I promise you that’s how I felt. Oran can be a challenge.

It was perfect. We had 2 days to connect with other families facing the SAME terminal diagnosis “Metastatic Breast Cancer” and the other 2 days to spend and create some awesome memories with our family

To my surprise Joel was able to connect with other husbands/male caregivers.

It’s always been about me that I didn’t realize he needed a safe place with others just like him. When he shared that with me I thanked god for answering our prayers together….. Leslie’s week.

He sacrificed being in the middle of Harvest to go on this trip. It was a hard decision he faced. God tested him.

Its been a shitty muddy… probably one of the worst harvest seasons this year. Somehow great people stepped in and helped make the best of it to allow us to go on this trip. We left not knowing what will come out of it. Probably broke and In the negatives but we’ve been there and somehow god has continued to bless us.

My Oran on the other hand had Jared there the whole time and it was beautiful to see.

He didn’t need anyone. He had his best friend/brother.

I didn’t get to connect with every MBC person ….seemed like there wasn’t enough time or days but the time I had with my family was well worth it. They were my focus. It truly was a vacation away from cancer. Think we all went there looking for something. Some needed connection with other women more and some needed Family time. Leslie’s week offered that. There was no set agenda or badgering.

This vacation will forever be one I treasure forever. Prior to the trip I prayed and

Asked God to please let me have minimal

Pain and lots of energy for 1 week and Id promise once we got back I would make it all up if needed.

He’s one mighty god cause we started our day early and ended it at 12 midnight.

We were able to do all but one thing… indoor snow tubing. The song by Alan Jackson “the older I get” pretty much sums up the rest of my thoughts.

Sandra Gunn who runs Leslies week has also asked me to fly out to New Jersey to attend a workshop in September of 2021. I was selected to be one of the voices for MBC. Yessss little ol Taft meeee. The vision of this workshop is to host where Leslie”s week honored MBC women and their husband caregivers to be the voices. A place where we cut out the middle man and directed our voices.

She founded some of the speakers by choice and some by chance ….WOMEN living with stage 4 breast cancer(me🙋🏽‍♀️), HUSBANDS who became caregivers of women currently fighting/or women who have passed away from MBC, and FAMILY members of those who gained their wings sharing the impact MBC had on them.

It was a direct chance to have our voices heard. They laughed at her and told her we didn’t have any credentials to be speakers.

Boy did she prove them wrong‼️

These speakers were mind blowing! It was an honor to be part of these strong courageous voices.

We all got on that stage and all shared a topic that came from all different angles.

It was an emotional conference.

My topic, given to me was “Barriers to care &patient support”. I worked continuously weeks and months on it in hopes I could address the message without overlapping the other speakers and making sure I was speaking not just for myself but for all the metavivors.

What should of been a week of traveling, exploring, happiness, and joy became a really tough week…. I lost my ex-brother in law Javier who was family unexpectedly and then my boss of 14 years Dr. Yzaguirre.

Ironic part is before his passing I had included him in my pictures of my speech to show that I came from a dental career and still worked despite having cancer and no hair.

It was hard to keep my composure. It was overwhelming and I was mixed with so many emotions brought on by tragedy and reality.

for the first time I watched a sister by the name of Jill share the impact she faces after the loss of her sister to MBC! Why did it impact me soo much? Because I saw my sisters, my son, Joel, my mom, brothers, and friends in her and for the first time It created a knot in my throat.

This platform Sandra gave me was so important and a BIG deal. I’m from Taft Texas… an itty bitty town and she picked me. I had the power to use my voice to an

audience that was made up of researchers, oncologists and pharmaceutical companies.

The very same people who determine our future. As a person who lost everything and trying to rediscover herself … I had the lingering question of what was my purpose there. Was I yelling and just being heard ? Or was I being listened to?

I found it. I think I know why.

I got to sit side by side, face to face and connect with researchers and BIG pharmaceutical companies and question WHY THEY WERE THERE! I wasn’t leaving there not knowing. I needed to know how were they going to take what we voiced back to their work and what were they going to do to make change.

I was blown away by some of the responses and how open they were and the barriers they faced.

I had shared my story now I wanted theirs. My interrogation of questions towards them led me to them sharing their phone numbers and maybe … just maybe this may be the connection.

What connection? I don’t know. Maybe for myself ?

Maybe if the day ever does come where I find myself needing clinical trials, or maybe something more. A movement. A loud movement. Regardless I can thank “Stage 4 Change” for giving me that opportunity to connect and have the security of inside connection 😳

Big shoutout to my friend Claudia for recording my speech so I could share it with y’all and for taking time off to travel with me and be there for me. God knew exactly what he was doing. Also to everyone behind the scene like Danielle, the board members, podcasters, & photographers

Claudia Even said she felt like she was my assistant 😂😭

And I told her we are practicing because I may be Famous one day 🙈

Like Drake says in his music… started from the bottom now we here 🙌🏼

My life has changed drastically and I’m adjusting well. This very exact story your reading has also been published in a book called “Terminal far from the shallow”.

It went viral on Facebook and now I’m a contributing author with many other stage 4 women.

I was nominated October 2021 as one of three portraits of hope for the American cancer society of Corpus Christi. I was truly honored to be selected because I was hoping to be the connection of the reality WE with cancer face and the impact and change that’s needed. Let’s just say it didn’t go so smooth. I was probably a big disappointment. After attending so many events where fundraising was happening for breast cancer, I couldn’t help but wonder where it all went?? I voiced that in the three years I had cancer and up till today, I have received zero help from one of the largest cancer foundations!! All they did was refer us to other non profit organizations for assistance. And let me be the first to tell you that applying to some organizations is a nightmare of paperwork.

It was the first time where I hated the month of October. My heart was turning black. Everyone was raising money, yet none of it stayed local and I was standing right there in front of them drowning in debt and needing assistance yet received none. We were managing because Jared and Oran both founded jobs with Coonrod Electric but October 15th they were both laid off.

November came and I finally sat at my computer and knew I needed to find help. I searched and searched the internet for help. I spent a whole day applying application after application. I even did an endless application to only find out I didn’t qualify after completing the last section. It was discouraging.

But let me tell you this God is good.

Applying was worth it. It’s why I’m sharing My story! My journey! Just when I lost hope there was NATCAF organization who received my application and came at a great time. I can breathe and we can have a Christmas. Having cancer hasn’t been easy. In fact I’ve wanted to give up several times. But Cancer will ALWAYS be my life.... so the world needs to be ready for me because I’m not going down without a fight.

Jan Burch

My name is Jan Burch. I was diagnosed with Metastatic Breast Cancer ER+/PR+ HER 2 Negative de novo on June 1, 2017. Because of hip pain, I went to see an orthopedic surgeon who watched me walk and ordered an MRI of the spine. Next the doctor ordered a chest, abdominal and pelvic CT scan and a bone scan and called me 3 days later and told me on the phone I had breast cancer.

I made an appointment at MD Anderson and underwent a breast biopsy, a mammogram, a visit with the oncologist and a visit with a radiation oncologist who ordered a PET scan because of the pain in my left hip. The PET scan showed two cracks in my left hipbone and I was told not to put any weight on my left hip, so I was put in a wheelchair. Next I went through 15 rounds of radiation to my right and left hips due to cancer.

My oncologist said she ran the case with the tumor board and I would be on Ibrance, Femara and Zometa as my biosphonate.

I had a partial hip replacement of my left leg by an orthopedic oncologist at MD Anderson. I had physical therapy for eight weeks. I continued my work as a paralegal for one year after diagnosis. I quit my job and went on disability one year after diagnosis because I rarely saw my husband, my 6 kids and my 9 grandkids.

In April of 2021, I had my PET scan which showed a progression in my right breast and a skin met of the right breast. My oncologist told me I had the PIK3 mutation so I would start taking Piqray and Faslodex along with Zometa. I went to see the breast surgeon and decided to undergo a right simple mastectomy on October 21, 2021. Since that time, I have been NEAD (No Evidence of active Disease). I developed Lymphedema in my right arm as the result of 33 radiation treatments. I also have Osteonecrosis of the Jaw caused by taking Zometa, a drug to help strengthen my bones.

In June of 2022, I lost a tooth and went to the dentist and learned I have osteonecrosis of the jaw caused by taking my biosophonate, Zometa. I was immediately taken off Zometa and will stay off until all of the dead bone in my mouth works itself out. Since I only have cancer in the bones, I am very worried. My surgical maxofacial surgeon at MD Anderson said we will treat conservatively until all the dead bone is gone and then I may have to undergo surgery.

I have spoken about my drugs and operations above. The most important thing to me, however, is what I do with the time I have left. I now have 6 kids and 11 grandkids ages 19 years to 1 year old who are the lights of my life. I have 4 sisters and a brother. In addition, I have friends whom I have been friends for over 50 years as well as my MBC friends. These women and men know exactly what we go through each and every day. All of these people make my life so happy.

Happiness is a choice. Since my diagnosis, I find more happiness than before. I feel everything more deeply, including emotions, simple things like waking up to a new day, the smile on my grandbaby’s face, a sunset, a quiet day at home and the joy I receive from friends and family. I love to travel, watch my grandkids play sports, get together with my family and friends to make memories.

Many breast cancer patients are living longer, and I just had my 5-year cancer anniversary on June 17, 2022. I am going to do everything I can to continue my NEAD status and to stay alive to enjoy all the wonderful things life has to offer. I choose joy and happiness for all my remaining days.

Jessica Moore was a nurse at a skilled care unit. At the age of 32, she was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer and passed away from the disease less than less than 4 years later. During her treatment, her family formed the Moore Fight Moore Strong (MFMS) organization. MFMS supports Jess' vision to shine a light on stage 4 MBC by producing the #LightUpMBC campaign and partnering with landmarks to illuminate in the symbolic colors of green, teal and pink.