Help Sandeep raise money

I'm walking to honour my young cousin who died by suicide in September 2010. The grief never goes away, just transforms, and ebbs and flows, sometimes feeling lighter and other times feeling so heavy it's hard to breathe. The grief is not only about losing him, but also deep grief for his pain--pain he hid or disguised, pain that told him to retreat and not reach out. He's visited me in my dreams, forever 23 years old, and it's bittersweet because he's there but he's not here. 

I'm walking to honour my family and our sadness that there's always one person missing, an empty chair, an empty spot in that family photo. I'm walking to honour our steadfast commitment to joy and laughter and to the love that binds us and keeps us moving.  

I'm walking to honour those in my life that have wished for and tried for suicide and who continue to navigate the pain that sometimes sees death as the only salve in this world that can be harsh and hard. I walk to honour those who keep walking because though the world can be harsh, they also seek and find the world that is soft and kind and compassionate. 

I'm walking to honour myself and honour that part of me that also desired death when the pain and the numbness were strong and blinding and disorienting.  I'm walking to honour the people in my life that supported me and held me and reminded me that the part that desires death is truly in need of softness, kindness, compassion, and love. 

Thank you for your support and kindness.