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The journey to our daughter’s birth was long, exhausting and almost never happened. It was 5 years of failed fertility treatments.  As the woman, I had hit a low in my life that I never thought was possible. I grieved never having children and started to challenge what my future would look like as “the worlds best aunt.” I felt guilty for being exhausted and not wanting to continue and on the other hand, felt empty if we didn’t. Todd and I agreed to try ONE LAST embryo transfer and after consulting with our doctor, chose to transfer two in the hopes that one would take… we became pregnant with our twin girls.

My memories from the time around my girls’ birth are filled with sorrow, pain, fear and complete helplessness. During a routine ultrasound at 34 weeks , the doctors became concerned  with Haisleys low amniotic fluid. We scheduled a c-section for the next day. Haisley was delivered first. The NICU team let me see her for a few moments before they took her for processing. I heard that heart-warming newborn cry and was relieved because she seemed fine. Then was Olive was delivered, but I did not get to see her as the team was concerned about something. It was a foreshadowing of things to come. 

By the next day, Olive’s health worsened dramatically. She was hooked up to all these additional tubes and wires, barely recognizable as an infant. She needed help breathing with a c-pap machine and her cries were cries of pain … all the time. 

To this day, I firmly believe that Haisley saved Olive’s life. From utero, she was trying to tell us to get Olive out, that she needed help.

The next two days were a complete blur. The Neurologist on site told us that Olive experienced a Grade 3 brain bleed and was seizing continuously. She needed more advanced care, and they were transferring her to London, Ontario.

I was scared to death that Olive wasn’t going to survive, and I knew that going to London with her was the right decision, but it was the hardest decision I have ever made in my life. I distinctly remember holding Haisley’s little hand through the isolette (enclosed bed used to keep premature babies safe and warm) and telling her how much I loved her, while from the corner of my eye watching the transfer team hook Olive up in a portable isolette. Once I let go of Haisley, I held Olive’s little hand and balled. I felt so alone in the world.

When we got to the hospital, we sat in two chairs next to her isolette and processed the last two days. We knew that Ronald McDonald House was an option, as we had called on our way up to London. Todd really stepped up to the challenge and kept his head clear while I sat there and cried. He spoke with the nursing team who helped  us get a bedroom in what would soon be our home away from home.  

We got a bedroom almost immediately, which isn’t always the case as the house often becomes full as so many families are in need of the security and comfort provided. We really lucked out getting a room right away.

Todd wheeled me over to “the House” and some of my fear of leaving Olive was erased as I saw how close she was to us. It’s literally across from the Hospital, sharing a lane way. As we developed our routine over the next 45 days, the walk to her room only took 5 minutes.

To say we were blown away by the hospitality and amenities made available to us is a complete understatement. We were given two key fobs and were shown to our room …. Wait … we get our own room? Hold on a second, our room has a private bathroom? 

There is shampoo and toothpaste, a washing machine, food, outdoor space, unlimited coffee, couches, hot meals, food 24/7 …. My mind started spinning.

For the one millionth time that week, I cried, but this time for a good reason.

For infants that stay in the NICU, they are also on a routine that is referred to as “do-ups.” This is the time when the nurses wake the babies to change, feed, weigh and take vitals. Olive’s do-ups were every three hours, and we were there for about half of that time each cycle. Todd and I attended every single do-up from 7 am until 7 pm, and then I slept to recover from my surgery, while Todd continued to attend the do-ups at 10 pm and often 3 am. We wanted Olive to see her parents every time she was awake, as much as we possibly could.

The only way we were able to get some rest, eat and shower and do all the do-ups was because of the House. Logistically, that lifestyle while in a hotel would not have been possible. Even a few minutes of rest, and the opportunity to escape the white, sterile walls of the hospital from time to time lifted our spirits and warmed our souls

3 days after arriving in London, Olive became stable. Todd took this chance to go back to the house and eat some leftovers. He arrived at the house only to discover that chicken parmesan was served for dinner. He warmed up a plate, when to a table and cried with tears of happiness, not only because Olive was stable, but because chicken parmesan is his favorite meal!

Although Olive was stable, her skull continued to swell. Her doctors performed a procedure that gave her temporary relief, but it didn’t solve the problem. Her skull continued to swell. 

All this time, I was heartbroken over Haisley, who was also in hospital but not needing the attention Olive desperately required. Our parents were able to come and provide Haisley with the attention she deserved and provided us with lots of photos and videos so we could feel a part of it all. Todd and I were decompressing at the House in the courtyard when we were approached by a staff member, Kim, carrying a blanket. We were already given a blanket for Olive by the team there and I was preparing myself to put on a welcoming smile and explain that. Kim passed the blanket to me and said, “This blanket is for Haisley, we are thinking about her too.” I completely broke down, allowing my heart to be filled with such gratitude. The house was connecting with us in a way that gave us daily strength to continue forward. Our friendship with Kim over our stays the house is imprinted in my mind.

Two weeks after their birth, I got a call from my mom who said, “Haisley is being released tomorrow, she’s ready to come home.” No one was prepared for that as the medical team in Windsor said it would be a couple of months before she was ready. But Haisley missed her sister and wanted to show the world how strong premature babies can be. She worked hard and learned how to eat in only two weeks!

I went to Windsor the next day, leaving Todd in London. Our plan was for me to stay “home” with Haisley and visit Todd and Olive. My mom helped me get organized and she stayed with us the first night. In the morning, I cried and asked my mom to take me back to London. That was where home was, Ronald McDonald House. We needed to be together as family. My mom smiled, said of course, and we went “Home”.

Haisley and Olive were finally back together. It made Olive’s journey much easier to manage when Haisley was there to support her and cheer her on. Haisley was the star of RMH too, constantly bringing smiles to people’s faces. We were happy to be the family to create happy moments for others.

It took three more weeks, but Olive was recovering more and more every day. She needed to learn how to eat and was monitored closely. It didn’t take too long for Olive to bounce back, just like Haisley. 

By this point I was completely comfortable with the 24-hour monitoring she had. I was used to the sounds on the monitor and had a lovely rapport with the staff. We loved RMH, the food and the ease of caring for the girls in front of the specialists. Emotionally I wasn’t ready to leave, because part of me felt like Olive wasn’t ready. But the team assured us she was good to go home on day 45.

We said our emotional goodbyes to the team at the House, packed up our cars and went home, for the first time. 

Our second trip to LHSC was a mere two weeks after being discharged. We brought Olive to the emergency room, where she was given a second brain tap to relieve the swelling in her brain. We applied, for the second time, for a room at the house and again, were given a room almost immediately. We were so relieved so have something that was familiar to us. Olive spent 5 days in the paediatic floor while she recovered from surgery for a VP shunt. 

For the second time, we packed our bags to head home. Weve made multiple trips to LHSC since then for check ups and every time we checked in to the house to say hi. It just feels like our home away from home. 

Thank you to everyone who participated in and planned for this charity event. Every action counts and you truly have no idea how much you’re helping families like ours.