Help alan raise money

I have Bipolar disorder, I am an alcoholic, I suffer from child hood trauma and I committed suicide at 11. I have been hospitalized from mental health struggles as a child and as and adult. I have been through short term and long term foster care. I was diagnosed in 2001 with Bipolar 2 and was on meds til 2008 as well as seeing a psychiatrist, and a therapist.

In 2008 I realized I wasn’t me, I was good for the outside world on meds but I could’t laugh, I couldn’t cry, I was just numb. I made a decision to get off meds, stop going to professionals because they didn’t help me find my way.

From 2008-2010 it was a really bumpy road that wasn’t fun. I was still suffering from my mental illness but at least it was on my terms in my time. I was drinking a lot, eating a lot, and suffering a ton at my own hand. I was miserable.

Enter 2010, I had a come to Jesus moment that changed my life forever. I was sick of being a victim of my past and never feeling that I would ever be enough for anyone else or myself. I looked in the mirror and asked myself, I was 245 lbs at the time and just emotionally and physically spent. Is this all I have to offer myself, is this all I have to offer the world around me? Thankful the answer was NO!

That day in January will always be the day I was reborn, the day I allowed myself to take responsibility for my life, the day I began to hold myself accountable, and the day I allowed my life to be my fault if I didn’t make healthier decisions moving forward. I didn’t know where I was going but I was going to be better than yesterday and move forward on my way there.

I did some important things the first few months of 2010, I got a pair of running shoes and bought a Digital SLR camera.

When I say photography and fitness saved my life I mean literally. I also got a gym membership to go along with my running shoes. I began moving physically, and creatively for my mental health and physical health.